October

“Fall has always been my favorite season. The time when everything bursts with its last beauty, as if nature had been saving up all year for the grand finale.” 

WARNING: This blog has its ups and downs. It has some serious moments and some silly moments, just like my moods lately. Remember: You have been warned!


I realized that I haven't blogged for a long time. As many know I often need to "blog" or just "write" & it often makes me feel better. I have had so much going on in the past year that it's amazing that I haven't written before now. I guess I just lost a lot of my ambitions along the way.

Let me just first say that I love Fall. I absolutely just love it!!! I love the smell, the colors, the decorations, and the crisp cool air.

One of the hardest things that happened this year was my biological Father passed away Feb. 27th. It was totally unexpected. I can still remember my Aunt's voice when she called me. My biological father were becoming close again. We would text back and forth almost daily and we always "talked" about getting together. And we kept putting it off. It was such a huge shock and I realized just how quickly our loved ones could be taken from us. After he passed away I was determined to pick my battles with people -only pick the most important ones and leave the less important ones to rest. I was going to try my hardest to make relationships work with loved ones no matter what but some things some things are easier said than done. I have a lot of questions that never got answered with his loss. I have a lot of regrets as well. Those are things that I have to work on each and every single day. I miss him a lot.

With the loss of Finley, my biological dad --I also was determined to keep in touch with my loved ones as much as I could. Even if it was just a text or an email I was determined to try harder. Again, some things are easier said than done. I often get irritated that I am the one always initiating keeping that contact with loved ones. Sometimes I want to give up and be like "that's it they can contact ME" but there again my heart gets the best of me. I've always been about the smallest things in life that mean so much. Sometimes it's not the big things that people do for you but it's the small things that show you they care. But knowing that you too are being thought of is a great feeling. Just saying' 

One of the most exciting things that happened to me (to 'us') was in August I became a grandmother. Yes we are GRANDPARENTS!!!! It's a new stage of my life but I now have a granddaughter named Bailey and she is absolutely beautiful. I can't wait for what's yet to come with her. And I'm going to try to be a good grandma to her. My grandmother was a huge part of my life when I was little and I know I can't measure up completely but I will try my hardest.

I've lost people I've loved over the past year or two but I have also gained people that I love and hold dear to me. I have gained two beautiful sister in laws, a new nephew Wyatt, and a niece named Savannah who is just the cutest little girl and I am enjoying getting to know them all. I have grown closer to my sister in law Val over the last few months and I just love her dearly as well as my son's girlfriend Carli. I have always been close with Carli but I've grown closer and closer to her over the last year. She is a great mother to my granddaughter.

Kenny is a hard working father. He works with Kelly now and has been there less than a year but so far he seems to like it. Kenny is always striving to provide the best he can for he and his family. I'm very proud of him, in fact I'm proud of he and Carli both.

This past spring & summer Kelly and I got to do more things without the girls than I think we have ever done in 17 years of marriage. I thank my in-laws (mom & dad Bish) who have watched the girls and spent time with them. And my father in law who has been there and helped us anytime we have needed him. I also got to spend a lot more time with my best friend of 30 + years Cindy and that in itself has meant a lot to me.

Max was sick for awhile over the summer. We think he had Boxer colitis. He seems to be back on track now but he can only eat his special dog food and homemade treats. He can't have anything else or his belly gets upset. He was looking really thin for awhile and we had a lot of issues. It was like one thing turned into another problem. Alexis was my helper each and every day. We had to cook chicken and rice for Max 3x's a day plus all of his medicines. It was a lot of work. But he has gained some weight now and looks a lot better than he did.

This Dec. 2017 will be a year since I had my hysterectomy. As many know I've had "female" problems for years and it was just getting worse. I had a fibroid on my uterus that wasn't going away and I also had an enlarged uterus. The doctor suspected it was adenomyosis of the uterus which it finally was confirmed after the surgery. My uterus was 4x's the normal size. Right after the surgery I noticed how my stomach -well I no longer looked 5 months pregnant!  I had 6 weeks of recovery and it wasn't fun.

I'm still having some health issues. Not sure what's going on but I'd just like some answers. I know my stress is high the last few months and even though I've always been an incredibly strong person -for some reason I just can't take as much as I used to. (This will be explained below) I have high blood pressure & I am on medication which is helping tremendously; but for the past few months I have been having very rapid heart rate, heart palpitations, headaches, & blurry vision. So I am currently on a heart event monitor for a month. It's a pain in the you know what! I've also been having a lot of urinary tract issues.  So we shall see how it all goes. But in the past 6 months or so I've lost probably 15 lbs. I quit drinking pop almost a year ago and I pretty much just drink water now and occasionally I drink tea /Crystal Light. I do feel a lot better as far as that goes. And for those of you that are major pop drinkers and say you can't do it; yes you can! I used to drink nothing but pop for years and if I can do it; anyone can! I was walking AND working out every single day but I've been slacking lately. But I am determined to get back into it all. I've just been so extremely tired. I thank those that have helped or offered to get me back and forth to doctor appointments and tests. I truly appreciate it.

The girls are doing well. Well, I'll be honest: They are fighting a lot and making life quite hard in our household. But other than that -they are both doing well in school, growing like weeds, and are quite healthy. They each have cell phones now which they have to do chores to keep the "service" on to their phones. This however is a constant fight; so sometimes I have their phones more than they do. If you are family or a close friend and have their numbers or their emails; reach out to them once in awhile I am sure they would like it. (Thanks Aunt Valerie, Kenny, and Carli for always saying HI and checking in on them!) They have spent some time with their grandma and pap Bish and have really enjoyed those times with them. They have went to camp several times and are eager to go back to camp to see the beautiful Fall leaves on the trees. Spending time with their grandparents have done them well with all that's been going on.


Kelly is doing well. He is still working in Pittsburgh for Nelson under Duquense Light Energy. The pay is awesome and so are the health benefits. We are very fortunate!  He likes the job but the drive -not so much. He may be up for a huge promotion soon but he's not sure that he is going to take it. That's a whole other story. He and Kenny do side jobs as much as they can and it really helps. In September he went to Florida for hurricane Irma & was there for a little over a week.

I'm hoping the holidays put me in better spirits. But I'm not too confident of that. But in saying that we will be home for the holidays and all are welcome to come visit, eat, stop in,--whatever. If anyone would like to stop for dinner just give me a heads up and maybe you could bring a dish? Or if anyone wants to just stop for deserts and good conversation-you are more than welcome. HOWEVER ....on Thanksgiving we might be doing some Black Friday shopping so we might not be home in the evening. Christmas Day we will be here all day. We have nothing to do Christmas Eve unless we would be invited someplace. Don't hold me to any of this at the moment because I might end up being a hermit and shutting myself in and doing nothing. I'm just hoping my spirits are better within the next month or so.

~~~~~~~~

As some know I've been quite down in the dumps lately. And I thank those of you who have lended an ear. (Cass, Renee, Carli, Val, Marcia, Joi, Clare, & Cindy....)

Why? Well Kelly, the girls and I feel pretty abandoned by certain family in our lives. I think the biggest thing that I cannot handle in life is someone who lies to me or gets mad at me for having a good memory and flat out calling a person out on their lies. I don't care who it is -I just can't handle lies and hypocritical behavior. And I cannot handle someone who tells me that I'm crazy or something isn't true when it's plain to see. I know I'm going to talk in circles here but so be it. I've spent most of my life standing up for those that I believe in or standing up for what and who I feel is right. I've lost people I loved for being this way but I have always thought this is the way your supposed to be. Yes you have to pick your battles (and I am learning that) but I've always been told to stand up for what I feel is right and the very person that taught me that has also  ditched my family and I for pretty much doing just that very thing. For someone to say to me that nothing has changed and I am (those exact words were NOT said but that's my own choice of words) delusional well then I guess Kelly, the girls, many others, and I are all delusional because everyone sees it.  I think that is something else that bothers me, I will go to bat for people that I feel are right and those I love but I rarely if ever have people doing the same for me. I have always said "If I've done you wrong by all means talk badly about me but if I've never been anything but good to you, then you do NOT have the right." (What's that saying about a "true friend defends you in your absence?") Anyway I've sat and have done a lot of thinking over the past month or so and it's funny what a difference a year makes. It's ironic how people can change on you & you didn't even do a darn thing to them. Jaden stood in our kitchen one day in front of her Dad and I crying and letting everything out. She told us how she is tired of being used only when certain other people are not around, she told us how hurt she was that her family abandoned her and doesn't bother with her anymore. Soon her hurt turned to anger as she spouted that she was finished. She was absolutely done and couldn't do it anymore. A week or two later Alexis laid in bed and cried because she said she was hurt and just "wanted things back to the way they were." Alexis never lets out her feelings. She never cries over her feelings. But she laid there and cried while I held her. Do I want people to feel bad for them? Nope. I want people to know what I've seen and where I am coming from. It's a parents JOB to protect & comfort their children to the best they can. Are the girls delusional? Am I telling them how to feel? No. They aren't stupid and they are old enough to see and know how things are going. It doesn't take a brain scientist to figure out or see a change in people's patterns.  I'm going to put it in black & white because then and only then will most people "get it." I'm not necessarily doing this for anyone reading I'm doing it for myself and if you want to keep reading; please do so but do it at your own risk: 

Last year: Calls and asks how school
This year: No calls
~~
Last year: Calls over & over wanting school pictures
This year: Nothing
~~
Last summer: Coming around a lot
This summer: Minimal
~~
Last year: Asks what kids need for school
This year: Nothing
~~
Last year: Makes REAL efforts towards the kids
This year:  Nope. Nothing. Nada.
~~

^^^^I think an 8 and an 11 year old would see these things on their own and no one needs to point them out.  ^^^^

I could go on & on here and I'm not even going to mention the changes that have been noticed towards Kelly & I. We aren't all delusional, we aren't "jealous" or being "childish" we have real feelings and these things & more  have been noticed. And other people within the immediate family have also noticed these things.

I for one, hate to be lied to. And when I find out months later that I have been lied to by someone over & over or the "truth was withheld" (which in my book is the same as lying) I just can't handle it. I guess I am just too honest of a person and I wear my heart on my sleeve and I expect honesty back. Does that make ME a bad person? I don't think so. Or at least maybe the way 'I've" viewed life ALL these years is just completely wrong? I feel as though it shows a complete disrespect towards me if I am being lied to or the truth is being withheld. When I spent my time, my energy, and countless hours of complete worry on people who decided I wasn't worth the truth all along & my family and I were only ditched at the end. Yeah I'm upset. Let me rephrase that: "Yeah WE are upset."   If I am at your side during the bad times I do not expect to be ditched during the good. Does it hurt? Yes. Does that make me (us) angry? Yes. I do not think anyone realizes that magnitude of how hurt I was. I say "was" because it's getting better now. I think it's getting better because I realized that these people I speak of didn't just lie to me, they didn't just turn on or ditch us -there ARE others they have done it too as well but then I go back to "but I am their daughter." So before anyone thinks I'm being a bitch- stop for one minute and put yourself in my shoes. Some people will say it's the same old song and dance with this situation as years prior. And you're right but does it make me a bad person that I've tried and tried and given chance after chance? No. I think it makes me a forgiving person. When you try as hard as you can to do right by people, put them first before other family and in the end they couldn't do the same for you, well yeah it hurts and it makes you angry.  As a parent we hurt when our kids hurt and my heart aches for my kids. My heart ached for my son years ago when he was treated the same way. But for years no one wanted to believe it. I have given chance after chance. People say your not supposed to do something for others to expect something back. Well, I disagree completely. I DO expect something back. I expect loyalty and just to be treated well. I do NOT expect to be talked about behind my back, lied to, or ditched. I don't want money, gifts, or anything like that I just want to be treated the same way as I have treated you.

I went off on a post on my Facebook once about how I feel like the good people do not ever get anywhere. I totally %100 feel this way. I know that I shouldn't but I do. It seems like the good people always get kicked in the teeth one way or another. I told someone one time that I felt like "in this family you have to do everyone wrong and you will get treated better" and yes I totally feel like that. People always say I'm strong. Maybe I am, but sometimes being strong equals being a lone. I just wish more people would stand up for what they believe in and stand against what they do not believe in. Be honest with people -don't let them say things that you know is not true. Telling people only what they want to hear isn't helping anyone. Who knows, maybe I'm wrong?

Just once.....I wish someone would have my back like I have had theirs. I wish everything would quit getting put on me like I'm the bad guy. I'm not. In fact in the past year I have handled situations so much better than I have in the past. There have been times that in my past I would have totally lost in and blown up but I didn't. (And that goes back to me trying to pick my battles) I was calm and tried to explain myself in a nice way. Or I just picked my battle and let it go. I've also just tried to cool off by keeping to myself for a brief period so I didn't blow up. I have pretty much begged my husband to keep quiet and not voice his opinion on things that I know he was right about just to keep the peace. But anymore I ask myself "why?" Why bother? Because, I'm starting to believe that no matter how we do or say anything- the end result will always be the same with certain people because that's how they WANT and NEED to perceive you.  It's like that saying "you cut ME but pretended YOU were the one bleeding." It's like they feel better pushing it off on others so their hands are clean. Someone close to me said one day "Seems to me that they have really and I mean really lost touch with reality." And I think that could not be anymore true. I can tell myself or my kids a million times that we did nothing wrong but the hurt and anger still stings. It is what it is.

I can't change. I can't go along with things that I don't agree with and I can't deal with lies and hypocritical actions. I am not perfect by no means but I just can't help who I am. I can't help that I wear my heart on my sleeve and expect others to treat me as I do them.  They say life is what we make of it? I don't necessarily believe that because it seems with some people no matter how good you are to them  -you will never be good enough. Is that their problem or yours? Theirs of course, .. but it still leaves an empty space in your heart...... especially when it is family.

Peace


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Heading into May

It's been crazy lately since I blogged last. Where do I start? I'm not even sure. Anyway I think Winter is finally behind us, it's not that it was a "bad" Winter it just seemed like a never ending Winter.

Kelly got laid off on Dec. 31st from his job.  Kelly got laid off but was told to wait before looking for another job with another company because as soon as a position opened with the company he was currently employed with he would have his job back. (The company he was working for from the end of August until Dec. 31st lost contract to another tree company.) We were supposed to wait until a certain date in January when the company could speak to the utility company and then we would have an answer as to if there was room for him. We waited. I can say now, looking back I think it was a mistake waiting. I don't know though -even in writing that I still am hesitant. The thing is: I don't think anyone likes to change jobs all the time and that's just something we are not used to. So that's pretty much why he wanted to wait to see what the outcome would be instead of changing jobs. Let me explain a tad for some who might not understand what my husband does. He is skilled, has special licenses, and is  trained within the "tree business" which cuts trees around the power lines. There is residential and utility, and he works for utility which means he works for the power companies. These skills, licenses, etc. are what gets him the better pay rates than what some may get and it also gets him into the job. The job he got laid off from (Davey Tree) -another tree company came in & out bid them and they lost contract to another company. So that is why he was laid off. So his boss had to have a meeting with the power company asking if he could put on another crew and we were supposed to wait until such & such date and he was pretty much told "don't worry I got you." Well the meeting happened and the power company told his boss he could not put on another crew. As soon as Kelly got this news he started making calls for another job in the same field. He literally had 5 job offers in 2 days. Ironically two job offers were for the company he previously worked for --for over 11 years and was fired from in August. It's strange how things work, huh? Kelly getting all these job offers in such little time really irked us because we wondered if we should have waited on that call from the other boss or not? All this time he could have been working and we would not have fallen into a hole and got backed up in our finances.  We literally had no income for January. We fought with unemployment over & over and up until last month was still fighting with them. We lost the fight -mostly because we just give up and don't feel like fighting anymore. A long story short: When he lost his job in August of 2015 he signed up for unemployment but was denied because he was fired. That's fine, within a week he had a job anyway so we just went on with our business. In September we got a letter from unemployment saying he didn't sign up for the job gateway thing -we just threw it away not thinking anything of it because #1. They already told him he was denied for being fired and #2. He already had a job so why would he sign up for a job gateway thing? It made no sense. When he got laid off in Dec. he signed up for unemployment "thinking" it was a new claim -a brand new case but I guess according to them it wasn't. Their last and final letter to us (just a few weeks ago) stated that they told him in their letter in September of 2015 that if he went to file a new claim he could be denied benefits so that's how they covered their butts. It's not fair and it's not right in my opinion but whatever. We had to withdraw from our savings, Christmas club, and even his retirement to pay bills and just get by. We had a gift from some special friends & some family even gave us a gift card for gas to help. He was traveling to & from Pittsburgh with interviews, drug tests, etc. for the job he now has. So it was rough coming up with gas money, etc. when you have no income coming in. So both gifts were huge blessings! Thank you! (You know who you are!)  Kelly got back to work on Jan. 25th working for another tree company but working for a completely different power company: Duquesne Light. He has worked on their property in the past and we knew that it was the better power company to work for as far as wages. Flat out: They just pay more than the other power company he was working for. Period. The one bad thing though is: He doesn't get "storm work" or over time because he lives so far away. You have to have a quick response time to be available for storm work. So basically if someone lives closer and can get their quicker the over time is theirs'. The drive is about an hour and it's a "hectic" drive, he hates it, and  its on the other side of Pittsburgh. When he went to take the interview he almost turned around and came home because of the drive. He is now so glad that he didn't turn around. He absolutely loves his job and loves his new boss! Ironically, there are a few guys that drive from Ohio to work there. About a week after starting the job one of the union reps got him in touch with a guy that lives in Natrona Heights and he now car pools with him so it does make things a tad easier. I have to stop there and say that his union (which he has been in for over 12 years) really helped him find this job. I am very appreciative to them for that. Anyway he is liking the job and things are going well for him and rumor has it he will be getting a promotion soon and I pray that happens. So please keep your fingers crossed for us if you would.

Jaden is  10 & in 4th grade &  and has done excellent all year. She has had nothing but good report cards. However as many of you know through the years Jaden was always the one with the hair all done nicely, the sunglasses, the purses, toenails painted, etc. Well now, I'm lucky to get her to comb her hair. Yeah it's that bad unless she is in "the mood" to get herself cleaned up. Otherwise I have to fight with her to do these things. Anyway she loves her teacher and is doing well in school. Her favorite things to do lately are: jump on the trampoline, play Barbies (Ever After High Barbies), and play on her tablet.

Alexis is 6 and is in PM kindergarten and she likes it for the most part. She also loves her teacher and gets all good grades and good report cards. She is learning to READ! She read me a book the other day and it was bittersweet. She is best of pals with two boys in her class Kholt and Chase. She loves hanging out with them and says that Kholt is her boyfriend. And so it begins....lol!!!! Her favorite things to do are jump on the trampoline, play Barbies (Ever After High Barbies), play on her tablet and she loves and I mean LOVES to draw! She is very good at drawing too. Her Aunt Amanda draws very well too as does her Grandma H.  So maybe she inherits that from them because I can't even draw a stick person with ease. Her Aunt Amanda does AMAZING work! I wish I could draw like that but like I said I have trouble with stick people lol

Both of my girls are a handful. They fight a lot. And I mean they fight over everything & anything and there are days where I'm just exhausted simply from their fighting. I can't even imagine what my summer will be like. A lot of the times when they fight I put them to work doing extra chores so they stop fighting but sometimes that doesn't even work. They each have emails on their tablets and know how to use them so feel free to email them sometime and reach out to them! They would love their close family doing that. If you don't have their email address then message me and I will send it to you. They would enjoy a funny picture here or there or even just a "HELLO" once in awhile. Jaden also has a phone, she got a smartphone for her 10th birthday. If you want her # just let me know but she can't send or receive a lot of texts because they are counted towards her allowance and then she will have to get a new card. We told her she had to buy the cards or ask for them for her birthday, and holidays. We had her 10th birthday in October so she could have a bigger party than she normally has and it was such perfect weather for her party. We did it "Halloween" and "Autumn" themed. I'm not sure if we are doing it again this year or not.


We got a new puppy in February and he is a Boxer named Max. Maximus Wilson Bailey. We had planned to get him since the summer before. Everything was set in stone but we just had to wait for him to be born and pick him! I was really worried we would not be able to get him because Dec. -February were bad months for us. But the breeders (they are the same people we got Laylah from and over the years I am proud to say they are our friends now) worked with us. He is getting so big and is now 31 lbs. He was just at the vet last weekend getting his shots. (He's actually bigger now than this picture -this is an older picture) He was wonderful with potty training literally from day #1. Then he started going in the house a few times and now he is back to being good and has now went 2 weeks without going in the house. I am very proud of him.

We still have Laylah and Sophie. Laylah is going on 4 and Sophie is going on 8. All three dogs are a handful but I love them all dearly. 

Me? I'm doing okay just busy and battling a few health problems -nothing major (that I know of lol) but just like many others I keep pushing myself to go -but I'm just so tired come evening that I am seriously ready for bed by 6. A friend of mine asked me when I was going to update my blogs again because I had not done it in awhile and I do miss writing but it seems I never have time and when I do have time I am still in a hurry or get distracted. I have 3 blogs total and I just updated two of the three. The third one will have to wait for another day and time. I've been trying to keep busy walking and working out when I can but like I just told Kelly yesterday "I use my time wisely but still feel like I don't have enough time in the day to get everything done." For example: I spring cleaned all 3 bedrooms this week and for those two days I had no time to do my work outs. I was literally just finishing up when it was time for the kids and Kelly to come home. I love emailing, writing, and talking to people -just keeping in contact with everyone and I do miss it. I still try as much as possible to keep in contact -it might be short, quick or far and in between but I do try. I have to stop there and put this out there though: I can't do it a lone. Relationships of any kind take two -so please reach out to me-to us once in awhile too. Please don't think we are too busy and use that as an excuse to not reach out to us -that's the great thing about today's technology -if you send a text, an email, or even a message on FB I can get back to you as soon as I have time. All I'm saying is: relationships of all shapes and sizes take both sides to make it work. It takes compromising, effort, and compassion. It's funny -my sister and I have this "communication thing" -where neither of us leave voice mails. Well, I sometimes do but it's not often. She will call me and if I can't answer and I see that she has called I call her back. And vise versa. Although sometimes I will send her a text that says "just called you" lol because let's face it: technology is great these days but it does fail once in awhile too. So sometimes you have to double check. So that's me: the paranoid double checker!

I had a concussion about a month or so ago. If this is the first time you are hearing about it please don't be upset -I really didn't tell anyone and when I did it was "after the fact." We were all outside one Saturday on a nice day and I went to lean over to pick up the dog poop bucket and hit my head on our window that is never open. We have those roll out window (casement windows) and it literally knocked me back on my butt. I got right back up and yes it hurt but I felt okay. Kelly came running to check on me and I insisted I was fine. I sat down on the porch and started to feel very "weird." I got dizzy, sick to my belly, I thought I saw a person walking through my neighbors yard but there wasn't anyone -it was just my fence sort of moving but -I don't know how to explain it but it just looked like someone walking. I got up and went to the couch and wouldn't let on to Kelly or the girls how I was "really" feeling. Later I told Kelly the truth and he kept insisting I go to the hospital. I told him no I would just watch myself and that was it. For the next almost two weeks I had dizziness, didn't feel "right," headaches, felt sick to my belly, and blurry vision. Without a doubt I had a concussion. I know this but why did I need a hospital to charge me 100's of dollars to tell me this and to just tell me "take it easy." So that's what I did for the most part. I did my normal work but didn't do anything extra and took more breaks throughout the day. I am now back to myself and things seem okay.

Easter was nice. We stayed home, we really didn't have the gas to travel to my parents house. So I decided to just stay home & cook. Kelly's parents came over & the girls enjoyed spending time with them as we did. 

We have been trying to save on gas a lot lately. We try to do everything in one trip if at all possible. Kelly has to buy gas twice a week now and there are weeks where once we are home -we won't leave again to go anywhere because if we use the gas -well obviously we have to replace it with more gas --which takes more money.  This is the one con from his new job: The gas and wear and tear on the car. 

Last weekend we worked non stop on the house fixing some things up around the yard. We also put shelves up in Alexis's room. I think for two days in a row we never stopped working. 

Well, I have been on the PC way to long today.  I have been doing some "spring cleaning" on the PC and then updating blogs so I've been on here way to long and have a long list of things I have yet to do today that just aren't going to get done. I start a new project next week: re-painting Jaden's room. 

Get a hold of us & keep in touch! God bless!

Have a great weekend everyone! 

PS: If you see typos and things of that nature just ignore until I have a chance to proof read! :-) 

September 2015

Summer is winding down and school is due to start next week. Alexis starts kindergarten next week and it's bittersweet for me. I am ready for the girls to go to school but in saying that I'm not ready to let Alexis go but I know it's time. The reason that I say it's time for the girls to go to school is because they have been irritating each other so much lately & fighting. They are fine when they are separated but it's crazy anymore when they are together. As I look back on this long summer I feel bad because we didn't do anything this summer. We went to a few local events but that is it. The beginning of summer Kelly worked a lot of over time. So we just didn't have the time to do much of anything. Alexis turned 6 in August and we had her birthday on the 15th. We had a nice party & we were extremely happy with the turnout of people that showed up. We didn't even know if we would be able to put on a happy face and have the party due to a huge hit we took to our lives just days earlier.  But we learned something valuable that day -as I remember standing back and taking a breather and watching everyone at the party I was content and happy and feeling a small sense of calm. And that felt good even if it were only for a few hours. It was something we needed to keep our minds busy and just see many of the people we love together and celebrating the day with us.

Let me explain briefly what I'm talking about. Kelly lost his job earlier that week. I don't want to get into the "whys" and "hows" of the subject but I will just say that we did not see it coming and it was a huge hit to us. We went through so many highs and lows in the last 3 weeks that I can't even begin to explain it all. He was at his job for almost 11 years and he was at the top of his game there. I am not saying that to try to sound "big" or "snooty" I am only being honest. Almost anyone who worked there with him will probably tell you the same thing. He was off for a week and found another job with the same type of work just "different colors."  The only reason he was able to get that job so quickly was his qualifications, work history in the business, and a little help from some good people in the business. Just a few days ago he had another job offer that he was thinking of taking. It would have  been more money than his current job and his last job. He would be a boss & have a lot more on his plate. He was to meet with the guy and talk numbers on Sat. but he thought about it and decided not to take it. He wants to stay where he is at and possibly work to become a supervisor. He has only been there a week and already starting next week he gets his own truck and crew and will be a foreman again. He now drives almost an hour to work. So we are having a lot of changes here at our house and it's hard getting adjusted but I'm sure we will over come it all. We never ask anyone for help. We just don't. Kelly and I have always done everything on our own and we have grown accustomed to that. But in saying that I have to put this out there: "Even the strongest of the bunch fall sometimes" & sometimes even the strong ones need support or the simple words of "are you guys okay?" -once in awhile.

Other than the big hit we took a few weeks ago we all are doing okay. Kelly and I will be celebrating our 15th wedding anniversary next week on the 9th. I cannot believe it's been 15 years. I don't know what we will be doing -probably nothing. Our original plan was to get a sitter this weekend and go out to dinner but I don't think we are going to be able to do that, now. 15 years is an accomplishment, a milestone, I guess. We have been through a lot in 15 years and it's so ironic that the "bit hit" came to us just a few weeks shy of our 15th wedding anniversary. But we learned a lot through that hit & we learned how to get through it together. There have been fights, there have been tears, and there has even been laughter but we are getting through it one day at a time: together. 


FYI: If I do not have you on Facebook and you are on Facebook please add me as a friend so you can see the latest pictures of the girls. I rarely if ever share pictures through email anymore. I share them on Facebook to "some" --not all of my Facebook friends. So please hit the little "add friend" button if I'm not already your friend on Facebook so you can see the birthday picture and other pictures.

We survived the Winter

Well we all made it after hibernating after a very long Winter. The weather has been quite warm the last few days and giving our central air a nice work out. I realize that I haven't written for a while so I figured I'd sit down quick this morning and write some.

Yesterday was Mothers Day and I had a nice one. Although I would love to have a day where I do absolutely nothing all day -I don't think it's ever going to happen, to be honest. Even when I try to sit back and let others do things for me I can't stand it I have to get up and help in some way. Kenny came early and stayed most of the day yesterday & then I got surprise visits from my family. It was a very nice surprise. Later, Kelly, the girls, Kenny, and I went to DQ.

I sat yesterday and reflected back through my life and thought of all the women past and present in my life who helped make me who I am today. I thought of all the women in my life that helped teach me something a long the way. I'm still learning now. I learn new things from people all the time. I tell my kids all the time "you are never too old to stop learning." I ask those of you that are reading this now -look back at all the women past and present in your life that helped shape you into who you are today.

The girls are doing great and we all have been quite busy the last few weekends. We get very busy on the weekends with trying to fit everything in. The girls are still fighting all the time. They fight about everything & anything. It doesn't matter what it is. It's quite frustrating. Alexis has been taking temper tantrums again lately which makes some days quite stressful. Sometimes just leaving the house is a chore for us when she is in one of her moods. I can tell you it's not fun and it makes us all fight and quite stressed.

My middle brother got married a few weeks ago and we are happy to welcome his new wife into our family! About two weeks after the wedding we all got together for a small celebration for them at my sister and brother in law's house. It was nice having everyone together.

We are seriously thinking about getting another Boxer next year. I know, we are probably crazy and I'm still debating to be honest but we are thinking about it. I have reservations because we just got a new living room suit. We shall see.

Anyway I have to cut this short and get myself in gear around the house and I hope to make it out in the sun today. The one last thing I'd like to add is a quote I heard awhile back but I kind of changed it around a bit:

"Instead of spending your time cutting people down, build them up."

And in saying that...wouldn't life be so much easier if everyone would build others up rather than tear them down?  Like I told my girls the other morning:

"You two need to quit tearing each other down, you are sisters, build each other up ...you are going to go out into this world and meet enough people that are mean and want to tear you down the least you can do is be sisters and build each other up so you will always have each other to turn to."

Wouldn't life be so much easier if we had less people stirring the pot for ill intentions but rather stirring the pot for good intentions to make people's lives brighter? Be happy for other people's successes and not envious. And remember if you want someone to be happy for your successes then be happy for other people's. And listen to other people, ask them how they are and remember to be selfless and not selfish. 

Those are my words of wisdom for the day! lol!!

Keep in touch everyone!

Fixing your family feud

I stole this from Dr. Phil; some of you may have seen it on my Facebook. 

Fixing Your Family Feud

If you're in the middle of a family feud — whether it involves money or not — ask yourself: Is it worth losing a loved one over?

Choose to forgive. Holding onto a grudge will only eat you up inside and cause huge family rifts. The only thing worse than not speaking to a family member for three years is not speaking to them for three years and one day. 

Sometimes relationships need a hero. That means someone has to step up and be the bigger person to close the gap. Someone has to make the first move, the first compromise, to heal the relationship. Swallow your pride and be that person. Think about what the future holds if you do not mend this. 

Think of how this feud is affecting the rest of the family. Are there other family members or children caught in the middle? Think of the unnecessary stress you may be putting on others. Dr. Phil tells two feuding siblings to consider their 84-year-old mother. "Let me tell you something. At 84 years old, she deserves the peace of knowing that her family is unified and intact," he says. 

No matter how flat you make a pancake, it still has two sides. Step into the other person's shoes and try to see their side of the story. Try to understand the other person and why they acted in a hurtful way. Try not to judge them. Conversely, examine your role in the feud. Did you do or saying something hurtful? Did you promise something and then back out of your agreement? Keep in mind the other person probably has some valid points that you need to weigh and consider.

Ask yourself, if your family member died suddenly, what would be left unsaid? In a perfect world, if you could write the script of your life, what would your relationship with that person be like? Start creating that relationship now.

Reach out to your family member and ask them to talk to you. Start with an apology for whatever part you may have played in the feud. Take responsibility for your actions. Explain why this relationship is important to you and affirm your love for the other person.

Dig further into what may have caused this rift. If it's about money, ask yourself if that is the real issue. Examine your feelings about the person you're fighting with and get to the bottom of when it all began.

Consider hiring a financial expert if you and a loved one are at odds over finances. If you can't see eye to eye, perhaps a third party can help come up with a plan that will lead to a solution.

Create some boundaries where you can begin to heal the relationship, but you're not allowed to bring up the source of the feud. Take 90 days to focus on reconnecting, and rebuilding the relationship. If you're siblings, just be siblings for 90 days and keep the subject of the feud off the table. After 90 days, examine the issue. You'll have found some middle ground and the value of the relationship will be more important by then. 

Let the leaves fall where they may....

So it's September and for those that know me well they know I love FALL. It's my absolute most favorite season. I have often felt that we don't get much of a FALL in Western PA -I remember a few years where it stayed hot and then went straight to Winter. I hope this is not one of those years.

School has started and Jaden had a great first two weeks back. The mornings haven't been the best but I'm determined to get that under control. As much as I love all 3 of my children, I am glad that school has started for Jaden. It was getting to the point that my entire day was filled with monitoring her and Alexis non stop because they fought non stop. I mean if I would leave the room for a minute they would fight or act up. Example: Eating lunch -If I left the room for a minute to do something they would start something. It could be anything from throwing food, making disgusting sounds to fighting. It was to the point I yelled all day long and was in tears half the day from the two of them acting up. So Jaden truly needed to go back to school and it's not because she was the one causing the problems it's just because they needed separated. The evenings when everyone and everything calms down are truly my sanctuary. Its sad but it's the only time I have and I just don't want to do anything, some nights I don't even watch TV, I just like the peace and quiet.

Alexis turned 5 on the 27th of August. We had her party on the 23rd. Thanks again to those of you who came to the party. We truly appreciated it. At times I wish I could just hire someone to do all the work so that I can just sit around and visit with everyone because sadly party day is sometimes the only time I get to see some of my family & friends.

Work has calmed down a tad for Kelly but we look for it to pick up again here soon. And when I say calmed down I mean he isn't working crazy hours or working 60+ hours for the week, he has been working his normal 40 hours. The end of September -- October is when he gets hit with a lot of storm work, normally. We always have a close eye on the tropical storms and hurricanes around this time of year. He is still a foreman and loving it.

I've been trying to keep to myself lately -just been going through some stuff that I need to work out somehow. I'll get there, one day.......

"Let the leaves fall where they may..."

The dogs are great. We are still missing Sampson so much. I don't know if I even wrote about losing him but we lost him in April. It was so hard. Jaden and I came in from the bus stop and found him laying on the floor in the living room. To make a long story short he passed away later that evening surrounded by his family. The first time I walked Laylah and Sophie after Sam's passing I cried. And even after school started and I did my morning routine of walking the dogs I cried again because I could just imagine him standing at the door waiting for his turn. I very rarely ever walked all three dogs together, I walked two at a time. I can't even being to tell you how much he is missed. Christmas is going to be extremely hard this year because Christmas was his favorite time of the year. He would get so excited when we would put the tree up. And he would always lay under the tree. And Christmas morning...he would always try to get the girls' gifts because he knew he, too had a gift awaiting him. He would always guard the gifts. Laylah is turning out to be a really good dog. She will be two next week on our anniversary. Sophie will be 6 (or maybe 7? I have to look to make sure) in Dec. And she and Laylah are finally getting a long for the most part. After Sam passed away neither of the dogs ate for almost a week. I'm not kidding. Then they started getting a long. After Sam passed away Laylah also got spayed so we don't know if it's a combination of everything or what but they are finally getting a long for the "most" part. Laylah still likes to bully Sophie though.

Weekends are so busy for us. That's when we run most of our errands and do our grocery shopping. Some weekends that's all we do is run -all weekend long.

We have seriously yet again been considering selling the house and moving closer to Kelly's division at work. Let me explain what that means for some who may not understand. His work has different areas to cover which are called divisions. Anyway most of his co-workers live in that area (that we like and want to be closer to) and he would be closer to work. It's just the whole stress of selling our house and buying again. And do we rent our house out or sell it? Right now we can make a decent profit from our house to use towards another house--a nicer/larger house, maybe? But then I look at our house and think "But we just did this and that to it..." A lot of time, work, and money has went into it and it discourages me from selling. And we live on the perfect road, lol! Its like our own little road which is safe (most of the time) for the kids. And our neighbors are all pretty awesome. So I don't know, we just ponder the idea over & over and not sure where to go with it. There are times where I just want to sell and then go rent because maybe we would have more "play" money if we didn't have to put all of our $$ into the house all the time for repairs, we would just let a landlord do it?! lol!!!  Decisions, decisions.......

A bit of a vent for me...actually it's a peeve of mine: What's up with people just not paying their bills and thinking it's okay? No it's not any of my business because it's not money that is owed to me but so often I hear of people not paying their bills. We actually had neighbors (yes this is where this is peeve is basically coming from) down over the hill that did that. They just got up and left and they just didn't pay their bills. Who does that? Seriously? I know if you have no other options you have to do what you got to do, I get that and I've been there but you don't just go around burning bridges behind you and not pay your bills because eventually there will be no more bridges to cross. Do people realize how hard it is to get good credit back after you have had bad credit?  We realize it because we lived it once. So trust me I KNOW first hand how things can change quite quickly. But if you have a choice -choose to pay your bills not leave them behind and think they will never catch up with you. It's ironic because when we went to buy the truck the salesman was talking about this. He said "One of the things I think they should teach you in school is about your credit." He is so right. There are things I have just learned this past year about credit and credit scores. When we bought our house Kelly had excellent credit, he barely had any credit but what he had was good. After buying the house with a job that paid $20 per hour -and counting on that amount (that was 14 years ago too!) and losing the job to a lay off, well ......we were in trouble! We didn't have any help from anyone- nor did we have a bail out, we simply did what we could by ourselves and we both worked our butts off (I was working at the time) to keep our house and just get by. (I have to add here that I am very thankful that Kelly got the job he has now & thankful that he climbed the ladder in his job to get us to where we are now!) But, we acquired some bad credit during that rough period -we saved our house which of course was a +  but we also acquired some bad credit too which wasn't good. Anyway we have worked so hard to get his credit back up again, and we paid our debts off....and now we finally got our credit back up and now it's better than ever.  But back to what I was saying...a lot of people don't realize the impact of not paying your bills has on your credit. It's hard to get anything anymore without decent credit. But it just makes me sick these people who think they can just buy everything and anything they want and then not pay their bills or take care of their responsibilities. Like the neighbors that just got up and left a year ago and never looked back. Ugh! Its a huge peeve of mine. It's like Kelly said the other day "It's called commitments." In fact the neighbor that left his house doesn't cut his grass until the township gets on him. So the other day his brother was cutting the grass (one of them usually cuts it twice a summer) and Kelly was down burning some garbage and they talked for a few minutes. Kelly told the brother "I never had a problem with your brother other than he needs to take care of his stuff, he has commitments here and he needs to tend to them." So true. Too many people forget that! So I guess that's one thing I want to teach all 3 of my kids: Take care of your commitments and pay your bills or one day it will come back to bite you in the butt! And this advise would be to teach them not belittle them.



I have to get moving I have some cabinet doors to sand and paint today and I have to do my regular household work yet. I've been trying to make myself get on the treadmill and do my work-outs every day. It's just so hard to find the time to do everything anymore. Somehow I have gained approximately 15 lbs and I honestly don't know how or why. As much work as I do around here and as much running I do it doesn't make sense and I barely eat, but like I told a friend of mine "But when I do eat I know I eat the wrong things." lol!

Keep in touch everyone!

This is the USA

I am so tired of seeing things on Facebook like:

"Share if you think the national anthem should be played at sports events."
Or
"Share if you think the pledge allegiance should be said in schools."
OR:
I saw one day an article about a man in Texas was told he should take down his American flag because it offended his neighbor.
OR:
The latest one about atheists want a cross taken down from the 9/11 site.

SERIOUSLY PEOPLE?

You live in the USA so singing the national anthem at sports events should not even be a question. You live in the USA so saying the pledge allegiance in schools should not even be a question. And you should be able to fly your AMERICAN flag in your own yard and if your neighbor is offended by it then he obviously is NOT a true American so sorry -go back to your own country if you don't even like OUR AMERICAN flag. If you live in America then isn't that where you are supposed to fly the AMERICAN FLAG?  If you came here for freedom and for all the wonderful things of the good ole' USA then deal with the American flag, deal with hearing our National Anthem, and deal with your kid saying OUR pledge of allegiance in the schools. Again, if you don't like it you can go someplace else. And the cross at the 9/11 site -have some respect and get over it.

Example only: I was in a Catholic church for a wedding once and another time a funeral. I am Methodist so a few things that the Catholic church did during these events I did not quite understand but I was in their church and I would not dare ask them to change to suit me nor would I disrespect them. Just like if I were to go to a different country I would not dare think I had the 'right' to ask them to change their ways to suit me. After all I was in their country. I would still practice my own beliefs but I would not expect the entire country to change for me.

I just don't think there should be even a question as to if we should sing our national anthem before a sports event because we have been doing it for years so why change now? Because it might offend someone? Seriously? And don't tell me that people from all ethnics come to America so they should be allowed to practice their religions, etc. I agree but don't expect our country to change. Buckle up and deal with it --if it offends you --go someplace else to live.

Period.