September 2015

Summer is winding down and school is due to start next week. Alexis starts kindergarten next week and it's bittersweet for me. I am ready for the girls to go to school but in saying that I'm not ready to let Alexis go but I know it's time. The reason that I say it's time for the girls to go to school is because they have been irritating each other so much lately & fighting. They are fine when they are separated but it's crazy anymore when they are together. As I look back on this long summer I feel bad because we didn't do anything this summer. We went to a few local events but that is it. The beginning of summer Kelly worked a lot of over time. So we just didn't have the time to do much of anything. Alexis turned 6 in August and we had her birthday on the 15th. We had a nice party & we were extremely happy with the turnout of people that showed up. We didn't even know if we would be able to put on a happy face and have the party due to a huge hit we took to our lives just days earlier.  But we learned something valuable that day -as I remember standing back and taking a breather and watching everyone at the party I was content and happy and feeling a small sense of calm. And that felt good even if it were only for a few hours. It was something we needed to keep our minds busy and just see many of the people we love together and celebrating the day with us.

Let me explain briefly what I'm talking about. Kelly lost his job earlier that week. I don't want to get into the "whys" and "hows" of the subject but I will just say that we did not see it coming and it was a huge hit to us. We went through so many highs and lows in the last 3 weeks that I can't even begin to explain it all. He was at his job for almost 11 years and he was at the top of his game there. I am not saying that to try to sound "big" or "snooty" I am only being honest. Almost anyone who worked there with him will probably tell you the same thing. He was off for a week and found another job with the same type of work just "different colors."  The only reason he was able to get that job so quickly was his qualifications, work history in the business, and a little help from some good people in the business. Just a few days ago he had another job offer that he was thinking of taking. It would have  been more money than his current job and his last job. He would be a boss & have a lot more on his plate. He was to meet with the guy and talk numbers on Sat. but he thought about it and decided not to take it. He wants to stay where he is at and possibly work to become a supervisor. He has only been there a week and already starting next week he gets his own truck and crew and will be a foreman again. He now drives almost an hour to work. So we are having a lot of changes here at our house and it's hard getting adjusted but I'm sure we will over come it all. We never ask anyone for help. We just don't. Kelly and I have always done everything on our own and we have grown accustomed to that. But in saying that I have to put this out there: "Even the strongest of the bunch fall sometimes" & sometimes even the strong ones need support or the simple words of "are you guys okay?" -once in awhile.

Other than the big hit we took a few weeks ago we all are doing okay. Kelly and I will be celebrating our 15th wedding anniversary next week on the 9th. I cannot believe it's been 15 years. I don't know what we will be doing -probably nothing. Our original plan was to get a sitter this weekend and go out to dinner but I don't think we are going to be able to do that, now. 15 years is an accomplishment, a milestone, I guess. We have been through a lot in 15 years and it's so ironic that the "bit hit" came to us just a few weeks shy of our 15th wedding anniversary. But we learned a lot through that hit & we learned how to get through it together. There have been fights, there have been tears, and there has even been laughter but we are getting through it one day at a time: together. 


FYI: If I do not have you on Facebook and you are on Facebook please add me as a friend so you can see the latest pictures of the girls. I rarely if ever share pictures through email anymore. I share them on Facebook to "some" --not all of my Facebook friends. So please hit the little "add friend" button if I'm not already your friend on Facebook so you can see the birthday picture and other pictures.

We survived the Winter

Well we all made it after hibernating after a very long Winter. The weather has been quite warm the last few days and giving our central air a nice work out. I realize that I haven't written for a while so I figured I'd sit down quick this morning and write some.

Yesterday was Mothers Day and I had a nice one. Although I would love to have a day where I do absolutely nothing all day -I don't think it's ever going to happen, to be honest. Even when I try to sit back and let others do things for me I can't stand it I have to get up and help in some way. Kenny came early and stayed most of the day yesterday & then I got surprise visits from my family. It was a very nice surprise. Later, Kelly, the girls, Kenny, and I went to DQ.

I sat yesterday and reflected back through my life and thought of all the women past and present in my life who helped make me who I am today. I thought of all the women in my life that helped teach me something a long the way. I'm still learning now. I learn new things from people all the time. I tell my kids all the time "you are never too old to stop learning." I ask those of you that are reading this now -look back at all the women past and present in your life that helped shape you into who you are today.

The girls are doing great and we all have been quite busy the last few weekends. We get very busy on the weekends with trying to fit everything in. The girls are still fighting all the time. They fight about everything & anything. It doesn't matter what it is. It's quite frustrating. Alexis has been taking temper tantrums again lately which makes some days quite stressful. Sometimes just leaving the house is a chore for us when she is in one of her moods. I can tell you it's not fun and it makes us all fight and quite stressed.

My middle brother got married a few weeks ago and we are happy to welcome his new wife into our family! About two weeks after the wedding we all got together for a small celebration for them at my sister and brother in law's house. It was nice having everyone together.

We are seriously thinking about getting another Boxer next year. I know, we are probably crazy and I'm still debating to be honest but we are thinking about it. I have reservations because we just got a new living room suit. We shall see.

Anyway I have to cut this short and get myself in gear around the house and I hope to make it out in the sun today. The one last thing I'd like to add is a quote I heard awhile back but I kind of changed it around a bit:

"Instead of spending your time cutting people down, build them up."

And in saying that...wouldn't life be so much easier if everyone would build others up rather than tear them down?  Like I told my girls the other morning:

"You two need to quit tearing each other down, you are sisters, build each other up ...you are going to go out into this world and meet enough people that are mean and want to tear you down the least you can do is be sisters and build each other up so you will always have each other to turn to."

Wouldn't life be so much easier if we had less people stirring the pot for ill intentions but rather stirring the pot for good intentions to make people's lives brighter? Be happy for other people's successes and not envious. And remember if you want someone to be happy for your successes then be happy for other people's. And listen to other people, ask them how they are and remember to be selfless and not selfish. 

Those are my words of wisdom for the day! lol!!

Keep in touch everyone!

Fixing your family feud

I stole this from Dr. Phil; some of you may have seen it on my Facebook. 

Fixing Your Family Feud

If you're in the middle of a family feud — whether it involves money or not — ask yourself: Is it worth losing a loved one over?

Choose to forgive. Holding onto a grudge will only eat you up inside and cause huge family rifts. The only thing worse than not speaking to a family member for three years is not speaking to them for three years and one day. 

Sometimes relationships need a hero. That means someone has to step up and be the bigger person to close the gap. Someone has to make the first move, the first compromise, to heal the relationship. Swallow your pride and be that person. Think about what the future holds if you do not mend this. 

Think of how this feud is affecting the rest of the family. Are there other family members or children caught in the middle? Think of the unnecessary stress you may be putting on others. Dr. Phil tells two feuding siblings to consider their 84-year-old mother. "Let me tell you something. At 84 years old, she deserves the peace of knowing that her family is unified and intact," he says. 

No matter how flat you make a pancake, it still has two sides. Step into the other person's shoes and try to see their side of the story. Try to understand the other person and why they acted in a hurtful way. Try not to judge them. Conversely, examine your role in the feud. Did you do or saying something hurtful? Did you promise something and then back out of your agreement? Keep in mind the other person probably has some valid points that you need to weigh and consider.

Ask yourself, if your family member died suddenly, what would be left unsaid? In a perfect world, if you could write the script of your life, what would your relationship with that person be like? Start creating that relationship now.

Reach out to your family member and ask them to talk to you. Start with an apology for whatever part you may have played in the feud. Take responsibility for your actions. Explain why this relationship is important to you and affirm your love for the other person.

Dig further into what may have caused this rift. If it's about money, ask yourself if that is the real issue. Examine your feelings about the person you're fighting with and get to the bottom of when it all began.

Consider hiring a financial expert if you and a loved one are at odds over finances. If you can't see eye to eye, perhaps a third party can help come up with a plan that will lead to a solution.

Create some boundaries where you can begin to heal the relationship, but you're not allowed to bring up the source of the feud. Take 90 days to focus on reconnecting, and rebuilding the relationship. If you're siblings, just be siblings for 90 days and keep the subject of the feud off the table. After 90 days, examine the issue. You'll have found some middle ground and the value of the relationship will be more important by then. 

Let the leaves fall where they may....

So it's September and for those that know me well they know I love FALL. It's my absolute most favorite season. I have often felt that we don't get much of a FALL in Western PA -I remember a few years where it stayed hot and then went straight to Winter. I hope this is not one of those years.

School has started and Jaden had a great first two weeks back. The mornings haven't been the best but I'm determined to get that under control. As much as I love all 3 of my children, I am glad that school has started for Jaden. It was getting to the point that my entire day was filled with monitoring her and Alexis non stop because they fought non stop. I mean if I would leave the room for a minute they would fight or act up. Example: Eating lunch -If I left the room for a minute to do something they would start something. It could be anything from throwing food, making disgusting sounds to fighting. It was to the point I yelled all day long and was in tears half the day from the two of them acting up. So Jaden truly needed to go back to school and it's not because she was the one causing the problems it's just because they needed separated. The evenings when everyone and everything calms down are truly my sanctuary. Its sad but it's the only time I have and I just don't want to do anything, some nights I don't even watch TV, I just like the peace and quiet.

Alexis turned 5 on the 27th of August. We had her party on the 23rd. Thanks again to those of you who came to the party. We truly appreciated it. At times I wish I could just hire someone to do all the work so that I can just sit around and visit with everyone because sadly party day is sometimes the only time I get to see some of my family & friends.

Work has calmed down a tad for Kelly but we look for it to pick up again here soon. And when I say calmed down I mean he isn't working crazy hours or working 60+ hours for the week, he has been working his normal 40 hours. The end of September -- October is when he gets hit with a lot of storm work, normally. We always have a close eye on the tropical storms and hurricanes around this time of year. He is still a foreman and loving it.

I've been trying to keep to myself lately -just been going through some stuff that I need to work out somehow. I'll get there, one day.......

"Let the leaves fall where they may..."

The dogs are great. We are still missing Sampson so much. I don't know if I even wrote about losing him but we lost him in April. It was so hard. Jaden and I came in from the bus stop and found him laying on the floor in the living room. To make a long story short he passed away later that evening surrounded by his family. The first time I walked Laylah and Sophie after Sam's passing I cried. And even after school started and I did my morning routine of walking the dogs I cried again because I could just imagine him standing at the door waiting for his turn. I very rarely ever walked all three dogs together, I walked two at a time. I can't even being to tell you how much he is missed. Christmas is going to be extremely hard this year because Christmas was his favorite time of the year. He would get so excited when we would put the tree up. And he would always lay under the tree. And Christmas morning...he would always try to get the girls' gifts because he knew he, too had a gift awaiting him. He would always guard the gifts. Laylah is turning out to be a really good dog. She will be two next week on our anniversary. Sophie will be 6 (or maybe 7? I have to look to make sure) in Dec. And she and Laylah are finally getting a long for the most part. After Sam passed away neither of the dogs ate for almost a week. I'm not kidding. Then they started getting a long. After Sam passed away Laylah also got spayed so we don't know if it's a combination of everything or what but they are finally getting a long for the "most" part. Laylah still likes to bully Sophie though.

Weekends are so busy for us. That's when we run most of our errands and do our grocery shopping. Some weekends that's all we do is run -all weekend long.

We have seriously yet again been considering selling the house and moving closer to Kelly's division at work. Let me explain what that means for some who may not understand. His work has different areas to cover which are called divisions. Anyway most of his co-workers live in that area (that we like and want to be closer to) and he would be closer to work. It's just the whole stress of selling our house and buying again. And do we rent our house out or sell it? Right now we can make a decent profit from our house to use towards another house--a nicer/larger house, maybe? But then I look at our house and think "But we just did this and that to it..." A lot of time, work, and money has went into it and it discourages me from selling. And we live on the perfect road, lol! Its like our own little road which is safe (most of the time) for the kids. And our neighbors are all pretty awesome. So I don't know, we just ponder the idea over & over and not sure where to go with it. There are times where I just want to sell and then go rent because maybe we would have more "play" money if we didn't have to put all of our $$ into the house all the time for repairs, we would just let a landlord do it?! lol!!!  Decisions, decisions.......

A bit of a vent for me...actually it's a peeve of mine: What's up with people just not paying their bills and thinking it's okay? No it's not any of my business because it's not money that is owed to me but so often I hear of people not paying their bills. We actually had neighbors (yes this is where this is peeve is basically coming from) down over the hill that did that. They just got up and left and they just didn't pay their bills. Who does that? Seriously? I know if you have no other options you have to do what you got to do, I get that and I've been there but you don't just go around burning bridges behind you and not pay your bills because eventually there will be no more bridges to cross. Do people realize how hard it is to get good credit back after you have had bad credit?  We realize it because we lived it once. So trust me I KNOW first hand how things can change quite quickly. But if you have a choice -choose to pay your bills not leave them behind and think they will never catch up with you. It's ironic because when we went to buy the truck the salesman was talking about this. He said "One of the things I think they should teach you in school is about your credit." He is so right. There are things I have just learned this past year about credit and credit scores. When we bought our house Kelly had excellent credit, he barely had any credit but what he had was good. After buying the house with a job that paid $20 per hour -and counting on that amount (that was 14 years ago too!) and losing the job to a lay off, well ......we were in trouble! We didn't have any help from anyone- nor did we have a bail out, we simply did what we could by ourselves and we both worked our butts off (I was working at the time) to keep our house and just get by. (I have to add here that I am very thankful that Kelly got the job he has now & thankful that he climbed the ladder in his job to get us to where we are now!) But, we acquired some bad credit during that rough period -we saved our house which of course was a +  but we also acquired some bad credit too which wasn't good. Anyway we have worked so hard to get his credit back up again, and we paid our debts off....and now we finally got our credit back up and now it's better than ever.  But back to what I was saying...a lot of people don't realize the impact of not paying your bills has on your credit. It's hard to get anything anymore without decent credit. But it just makes me sick these people who think they can just buy everything and anything they want and then not pay their bills or take care of their responsibilities. Like the neighbors that just got up and left a year ago and never looked back. Ugh! Its a huge peeve of mine. It's like Kelly said the other day "It's called commitments." In fact the neighbor that left his house doesn't cut his grass until the township gets on him. So the other day his brother was cutting the grass (one of them usually cuts it twice a summer) and Kelly was down burning some garbage and they talked for a few minutes. Kelly told the brother "I never had a problem with your brother other than he needs to take care of his stuff, he has commitments here and he needs to tend to them." So true. Too many people forget that! So I guess that's one thing I want to teach all 3 of my kids: Take care of your commitments and pay your bills or one day it will come back to bite you in the butt! And this advise would be to teach them not belittle them.



I have to get moving I have some cabinet doors to sand and paint today and I have to do my regular household work yet. I've been trying to make myself get on the treadmill and do my work-outs every day. It's just so hard to find the time to do everything anymore. Somehow I have gained approximately 15 lbs and I honestly don't know how or why. As much work as I do around here and as much running I do it doesn't make sense and I barely eat, but like I told a friend of mine "But when I do eat I know I eat the wrong things." lol!

Keep in touch everyone!

This is the USA

I am so tired of seeing things on Facebook like:

"Share if you think the national anthem should be played at sports events."
Or
"Share if you think the pledge allegiance should be said in schools."
OR:
I saw one day an article about a man in Texas was told he should take down his American flag because it offended his neighbor.
OR:
The latest one about atheists want a cross taken down from the 9/11 site.

SERIOUSLY PEOPLE?

You live in the USA so singing the national anthem at sports events should not even be a question. You live in the USA so saying the pledge allegiance in schools should not even be a question. And you should be able to fly your AMERICAN flag in your own yard and if your neighbor is offended by it then he obviously is NOT a true American so sorry -go back to your own country if you don't even like OUR AMERICAN flag. If you live in America then isn't that where you are supposed to fly the AMERICAN FLAG?  If you came here for freedom and for all the wonderful things of the good ole' USA then deal with the American flag, deal with hearing our National Anthem, and deal with your kid saying OUR pledge of allegiance in the schools. Again, if you don't like it you can go someplace else. And the cross at the 9/11 site -have some respect and get over it.

Example only: I was in a Catholic church for a wedding once and another time a funeral. I am Methodist so a few things that the Catholic church did during these events I did not quite understand but I was in their church and I would not dare ask them to change to suit me nor would I disrespect them. Just like if I were to go to a different country I would not dare think I had the 'right' to ask them to change their ways to suit me. After all I was in their country. I would still practice my own beliefs but I would not expect the entire country to change for me.

I just don't think there should be even a question as to if we should sing our national anthem before a sports event because we have been doing it for years so why change now? Because it might offend someone? Seriously? And don't tell me that people from all ethnics come to America so they should be allowed to practice their religions, etc. I agree but don't expect our country to change. Buckle up and deal with it --if it offends you --go someplace else to live.

Period.

Karma & more

I see this message all the time on Facebook and other Internet sites and how I would like for it to be true -I don't believe in KARMA anymore. I think we all sit back and 'hope' that it is true but I don't. In my own personal experience I have been surrounded by so much of the opposite so it brings me to this conclusion. I feel like every other day I see more & more people win that are doing so much wrong in the world. And when I say 'win' I mean they always seem to come out 'smelling like a rose' after they have done so much hurt to others. The liars, the cheats, the selfish people, thieves, & the list goes on & on. We see it all the time and we see those that are trying to live the right kind of life get kicked in the teeth. I see people treat others very badly but still those people that they are treated badly are there for them. This is something I just do not understand. I'm not giving a 'sob' story but my husband and I are good people that try to treat others with dignity and respect and we are so shocked when we hear or see of others that treat people so badly. We are not perfect people by any means but we just shake our heads in disbelief at some of the things we hear or see. And here we are for 14 years most of the time 'alone' and doing everything by ourselves. We feel proud that we have done it all on our own but sometimes it does get old, sometimes it gets lonely-especially for our kids. So it makes us wonder if we should treat people badly -maybe that's the answer? I know its not the way to be but every day we see in other situations that it seems bad behavior = people treating you better? You are probably shaking your head right now in disbelief and saying "no that's not true" but I say "isn't it?" Think about it.

More examples: I see bad Mothers get rewarded with more kids. Yes I'm going to touch base on this because it's on my mind. I feel that I am a pretty good Mother and it's something that I do well, I have given up everything to be the best Mom that I can be- but for some reason I keep getting "teased" with more children and just end up losing them to miscarriage. Just today I got reminded once again that I would be delivering another baby this month- if I would not have lost the one in June. Yes someone that was pregnant right a long with me just had her baby so I get that great reminder which saddens me more than anyone will ever realize. And this June I will get to be reminded once again of another loss because that's when I would be delivering the baby I just lost in November. Is it fair? Nope. Do I dwell? No, I try my hardest not to but there are days like today where it just truly gets to me. I do not want anyone to feel bad for me, that's not what I want I only want people to understand where I'm coming from and why I feel the way I do about certain things.  I sit back and watch other people who do not even want kids have kids one after another without a problem in the world. It does not make any sense to me whatsoever. Here again I feel like we see bad behavior get rewarded and good behavior gets thrown out the window. Where's the KARMA there?

Life is odd if you think about it, people always say "you get back what you give" -Well I don't see that being true either or maybe I'm just dealing with the wrong people, I don't know but I've tried to be nice to people, to be helpful but it doesn't seem like the statement "you get back what you give" is true. I have said over and over again that I know you are supposed to treat people like you want them to treat you but I've said for years now that my new motto is "I'm going to treat people the way they treat me." It's hard to do that because my conscience takes over & I know I shouldn't be that way but you know what? Maybe if we treated people the way they treated us it would give them a nice hard slap of reality right in the face and it would wake them up? Maybe these types of people need that because people have been too forgiving of their actions for years and they just take everyone and everything for granted and do not even see how selfish and rude they are? So many people think they are owed or entitled to so much & they aren't.

Day after day I see or hear about liars, cheats, and selfish people of the world passing straight through without KARMA ever touching them so this is why I no longer believe in KARMA because each day it gets proven that

bad behavior =rewards
good behavior = 0

So that's my take on KARMA-I just do not believe in it anymore.

That's my rant for the week, have a great week everyone!

As I am

You can call me crazy and that's okay but I am writing about "As I am" Coconut CoWash from Sally Beauty, simply because I want to share it with everyone else! My hair just went through a MAJOR transformation within the last 3 months and the transformation left it frizzy (frizzier than normal) dull, dry, -okay any name you can think of when it comes to "bad" hair you can say because my hair was that bad after the transformations. For anyone that knows me know that I love trying out new hair products, etc. Well as I went in Sally's buying yet more toner for my hair and when I was about to check out  I saw this stuff sitting there "on sale" so I asked the cashier about it and she told me it was kind of like "Wen" hair products. Well I knew what Wen products were because I have checked into purchasing them but my husband was not too keen on their prices and I figured it wouldn't work for me anyway, so why waste the money, right?! So you know what I'm going to say next, right? Yes I bought this product "As I Am" and brought it home and used it after yet another toning treatment for my hair. I am not lying when I tell you that I noticed a difference immediately. I know you probably read reviews where people say that and if you're like me you do not believe it.  I'm telling you the %100 truth here. So I used it two more times and my hair is now soft, and 99% better than what it was. It's still damaged but it does not look even nearly half as bad as it looked a few days ago. This is basically a wash where you do not have to use conditioner, etc. (Just like the Wen products) However, I did use a conditioner the last two times that I used this product (I switch between Mystic Divine and ApHogee-also bought at Sally's) simply because my hair was in that bad of condition BUT I do know it wasn't the conditioners that did the huge change because I was using them before buying this product. Do I think the conditioners helped? Yes, but I am going to attempt to NOT use conditioner on my next wash with this product and see how it goes which I am confident it will still be great. If I can get away with not using conditioner every single time I use it I'll actually be saving money in the end. I have very thin/brittle hair and after I put it through this latest transformation of going dark to blonde again-well my hair was a mess! I absolutely love this product and highly suggest it.